MOVIES are escapist fiction, not a solid foundation for your philosophy of life, but half-wits take the dumb lines of dialogue to heart:

“Do or not, don’t try” – The Empire Strikes Back

Wise advice given to a little green goblin with a poor understanding of sentence structure. Effective in the context of a movie, cringe-worthy when used to motivate people about real-life situations. They’re usually not trying to lift a spaceship out of a swamp, they’re trying to save a mortgage or drink.

“Life flows quite quickly. If you don’t stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it.” – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Easy enough for a smart ass to say during an economic boom. It’s kind of nice to hear when you’re a grown man with a family to feed and a job to support. You don’t have a second to stop and warm up in your life, and even if you did, you’d realize things weren’t going very well, and Ferris was a jerk, as his sister said.

“Just Keep Swimming” – Finding Nemo

A line sung by an amnesiac fish in a children’s movie so many times that it made you pray for a major oil spill through that f**king royal reef. Plowing through life thoughtlessly is dumb. Sometimes you need to pause and fix problems before moving on. Yes, swimming is metaphorical, but that doesn’t make it any less moronic.

“What we do in life echoes in eternity” – Gladiator

The actions of Maximus Decimus Meridius definitely influenced the events of the film, but that’s because he was the main character, and if they didn’t, the script would be silly. Real people who say this will leave behind nothing but an ass on the couch and a bunch of pissed off friends.

“Life is like a box of candy, you never know what you’re going to get” – Forrest Gump

Misfortunate morons usually speak when life throws them a curveball. This line is not a reassurance, but a capitulation to the chaotic misfortunes of the world. Also, even if the chocolates came without a handy guide, they’re chocolates. They are all good. No one kills you unexpectedly.

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