Sure enough, people were running and someone said, “Code red, code red.” The doctor compared orthopedic surgery to flying a fighter jet (“You only get one chance to get it right,” was the Top Gun clinic’s response).

Except it turns out that the vet staff is a lot smarter and a lot less drama-obsessed than the average Casualty cast, and the cases they handled tended to be on the, uh, mundane side. In Casualty’s 352-year history, there have been some boring illnesses that have come through that revolving door, but I can’t recall anyone getting fired for eating corn on the cob.

In step Hugo, three, and his brother Casper, six months, dumb-as-a-brush Boxers, who have pounced on shopping while their human friends aren’t looking. Four ears of corn were missing.

To be fair, it’s a bona fide “thing,” ducks being indigestible and all. Before you could say “bad dogs,” the pair were dressed in the cones of shame and prepped for an endoscopy. Hugo’s tummy was free of corn and cobs, but Casper’s was like Tesco veg.

Before starting the operation, which is always risky, the team decided to give nature one last chance. One of the nurses was put on the “poop” and Caspar was duly delivered. At least we were kept from what was going on.

In the episode I saw, and this is usually the case with these types of programs, no one talked about cold hard cash. Having a pet costs money, and a sick pet costs even more, but that message is too often lost in the rush.

I wasn’t the only viewer to approach The Shamima Begum Story (BBC2, Tuesday) with reluctance. Eight years have passed since the 15-year-old Londoner ran away to join Isis, and the ‘victim or villain’ debate has been raging ever since.

Investigative journalist Joshua Baker has been following the case since its inception. His the movie told us nothing new, but it placed his interview with Begum alongside his meetings with others and verified her claims as they went along.

It was scrupulously fair journalism that left the audience to decide for themselves. However, because it was so “one side, then the other”, I doubt many people changed their minds.

1923 (Channel 5, Thursday, taster; rest of series on Paramount+), starring Helen Mirren and Harrison Ford in another prequel to Taylor Sheridan’s neo-western Yellowstone.

More cowboys, more Stetsons, more strong women and proud men bent on declaring war on each other: a formula that’s been good enough for movies for long enough, and now it’s conquering the small screen.

Mirren plays Kara, the Irish-accented wife of Jacob (Ford), and they make a real matriarch and patriarch.

Violence followed the Duttons “from the Scottish Highlands to the slums of Dublin” and eventually to Montana, Cara says. It has also spread to Africa, where one of the clan is a hunter of big cats.

Between the Lions abroad, the noisy Scottish neighbors at home and the lingering injuries of the First World War, there’s hardly a moment to catch your breath on this thrilling ride. Mirren and Ford are gorgeous, but you’ve probably guessed.

I’m afraid to count the victims of Joe Goldberg, the serial killer in Your Heart (Netflix), who returns for a fourth series. In many ways, Joe (Pen Badgley) is a real catch. Cultured, intelligent, would do anything for the girl he loves, but, well, he has a murderous side.

Joe was last seen in Paris looking for a lucky runaway. He is now in London posing as Jonathan Moore, a professor of literature. He seems incredibly lucky. Not only do the authorities in the US think he’s dead, he’s borrowed a lovely apartment in South Ken, and Alison from Ghostbusters (Charlotte Ritchie) is next door.

It’s supposed to be a fresh start, so why is he so quick to dump the body of one of his new London friends?

Fine writing aside, You works because Joe’s character, a modern-day Jekyll and Hyde, is a classic, and Badgley’s performance is a belter, reluctantly pulling the viewer on his side on the (rare) occasions when he does the right thing by doing wrong. I guess Joe’s school reports often said he didn’t play well with others.

A move to London and a beard that makes Joe look like Michael Sheen add to the proceedings, as does the intriguing presence of Rhys (Ed Spielers). Rhys had the same difficult childhood as Joe, is a brilliant writer and could run for Mayor of London. Strange things happened.

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