NO useful skills or redeeming qualities? If your parents are rich enough, this will not be an obstacle to your advancement in life:

Did you attend a private school?

A) Yes. Because my parents took care of me. And because they wanted me to build a network of contacts sufficient to give me a head start in whatever field I wanted to pursue.
B) No. These damn places cost £31,000 a year and the regular school is free. I was refused to rub shoulders with the children of city bankers and oligarchs.

Did you get into a good university?

A) Yes. Your A-levels were an absolute car crash, but your parents threw a few thousand at their old university to get you some stupid scholarship. Results alone cannot stand in the way of your success.
B) No. You had to apply through UCAS to go to university like everyone else and Oxford turned you down because you’re from Mansfield. And now you’re £30k in debt with an arts degree.

Do they have a city apartment?

A) Yes, of course. Before he sold the business, Dad used to commute, so he still has a small place near Grosvenor Square that I come to for a while.
B) No. Because like everyone else, they own or rent one property and can’t afford it, so you spend 70 percent of your net salary renting a room in a shared house in Peng.

Can they get you to work for their company?

A) Yes, even though you didn’t go through a coke-hazed, rowing university education, you’ll quickly become an intern at your father’s law firm before moving on to an entry-level £100k-a-year position.
B) No. If pushed hard, they might get you interviewed three days a week as cover for the maternity registrar.

Do they support your goals?

A) Yes. They invested about a hundred thousand in an organic hummus brand that I launched because of my deep passion for hummus, which collapsed within six months. But they demanded compensation for the losses at the expense of taxes.
B) Emotionally yes. Financially there is no. They paid for university, they can’t afford a two-year internship at a web shorts company.


Mostly like: Your lack of talent doesn’t matter. Without having to do anything, you’ll be a millionaire by the time you’re 30, and if you’re really useless, you can always be a Tory MP.

Mostly Bs: You’re a normal person and that’s why you fuck. But you already know that.

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