TOMORROW is a historic day of national mourning. Commemorate the occasion in a fitting way by getting respectfully drunk:

Start at 11.00

To show you’re thinking of the Queen rather than masking a day’s drinking, hit your first tip at 11am. If anyone asks, this is your way of setting a 24-hour countdown to your final farewell to Her Majesty. Drink every hour to keep up the pretense.

Ditch the Paddington and marmalade sandwiches

Follow Buckingham Palace’s strict orders by avoiding Paddington and marmalade sandwiches this side of the funeral home. Soft teddy bears are cute, but they don’t have alcohol in them, so they’re useless to you today. And marmalade sandwiches are terrible for the stomach lining and can jeopardize your longing spoilage.

Dress accordingly

Black suit and tie for men, black dress and mesh veil for women. Not only is it traditional and appropriate in this sad time, but black clothes do not show a stain or stain when you drop the dhansaka fork. Considering that by evening you will be too angry to go straight, this feature will be very useful.

Play appropriate music

Forget the national anthem. It’s a poignant reminder of the changing monarchy, and it’s too much of a memorial service to get it right. Start the Sex Pistols instead God save the queen, Royal from Lorde and nothing from Queen. The Queen loved the Queen.

Stay up late

Her Majesty’s reign was the longest in history, unless you count some French jerk who cheated when he was five years old. Salute her relentlessness by pushing your drinking further into the night than you’ve ever managed before. 6am would be a fitting tribute, 9am even more so.

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